


Reaching

by Allypallycally1



Series: Dance of the Heroes [2]
Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 16:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6964591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allypallycally1/pseuds/Allypallycally1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It isn't because I am some kind of horny animal that wants any and all contact from its mate, it's just...</p><p>"I want to know if he thinks I'm worth the connection to him.</p><p>"Because... Am I? Am I enough for him? Is this new routine due to the fact that he has gotten bored with me?"</p><p>Billy's lack of confidence in himself and his relationship is taking a toll on Teddy, and all he wants is his boyfriend back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reaching

**Author's Note:**

> Again, just a really short ad unbeta'd thing in which I wanted to study the possible repercussions of Loki's lies in Vol.2. I can imagine Billy spiraling himself into self-doubt on whether or not he is materialising what he wishes a relationship could be.  
> I know the pacing is sometimes a bit jarring and uncomfortable, but I alone don't know how to fix it but I've had it sitting in my drafts for maybe 18 months now? All constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated, I have a long way to go until my writing is at a praisable level.

I love Billy so much, every bit of him. I love his hair and his cinnamon-y smell and the way his nose scrunches up when he's concentrating, I could go on ad infinitum with all the reasons why I am hopelessly in love with him.

But some things about Billy have become... Less favourable. Like when he does that thing with his hand. Every moment that his hand just stays there on my skin, the more it burns as if he were touching me with a hot iron.

The distances between him and me vary depending on the length of his confidence surge but his hand could have barely left his side, knowing I noticed, or he could have his hand hovering just inches from my skin before he pulls it back. And I hate it.

_"... And the way she just-" I couldn't find the words that were on the tip of my tongue so I opted for gesturing wildly with my hands as much as I could while lying on my stomach in a way that would hopefully convey how incredible America Chavez was._

_The only thing that let me overcome that frustration was that moment when I caught his eyes, that moment when he did that adorable little snort before he launched into a full laugh. The fact that I made him laugh sent heat to my face and my chest. His low and genuine_ boy _voice and the way it rung through this little room made me so happy that I ended up gay._

_How did I deserve this? What have I done to deserve him?_

_I knew I was blushing, and I knew that wearing this blush while watching him intently (like I so wanted to do) would only make him cut off that laugh with an awkward cough. So I looked away and back to the comic laid out on the bed in front of me._

_He must have known that I was blushing anyway, the colouring in my ears would have given it dead away so I thank him for not bringing that up._

_What happened instead, was the bed shifted slightly under his change of weight distribution on its springs, and I could feel him lean closer to me._

_I had to try and quieten down my brain, which had annoyingly latched on to a loop of 'I hope he kisses me. I want to kiss him.' and I did not need that adding, even more, colour to my presently red face._

_Billy went quiet, and silence covered us in such a way that it was almost uncomfortable. I felt the heat start to pool over my lower back which indicated Billy had his hand hanging just above my shirt there._

_Please, I begged to whatever was out there, please don't let him do that again._

It isn't because I am some kind of horny animal that wants any and all contact from its mate, it's just...

I want to know if he thinks I'm worth the connection to him.

Because... Am I? Am I enough for him? Is this new routine due to the fact that he has gotten bored with me?

It isn't, I know that it's not that because he's told me himself on a raining Sunday afternoon sitting in his bedroom.

 _"It's... I'm scared,"_ he'd said. _"I'm scared that if I touch you, you'll wake up from the trance I've put you into and walk away from me."_

I had heard the tightness in his voice and at that moment, and I wished I could have made him laugh instead of hearing this crushing doubt that strangled the strength out of him.

He told me his doubts, and now I know that after what happened with his powers, and with the Mother parasite, he had so many doubts in himself that he couldn't bring himself to make physical contact with me.

And I hate it.

But I love him.

So the next time it happens, we're sitting in his room again, me down on the floor leaning against his bed which he's lying on; on his stomach with his head near mine as we chat away about anything and everything.

I'm not focussing on the conversation because this is the closest to me that he's put himself for weeks. And I'm hyper aware of it.

The topic twists and shifts and jokes are slid between the words until I hear him move his arm behind my head. The ticklish feeling on my scalp lets me know that his fingers are gently brushing the edge of my hair.

Not quite touching.

And this time, I snap, throwing my arm behind my head to grab his hand before pulling it down in front of my face again.

I hear him yelp in surprise but honestly my heart is beating too hard to pay much attention.

I'm still holding his hand. Right.

So... I kiss it. Lightly. On the knuckles.

This time, there's a sharp intake of breath through his nose, and I know that I have his attention.

"Please..." I whisper, not quite understanding and not quite caring where my voice has gone. "Please stop doing this."

"Sorry." It's automatic, robotic and so not the response I'm looking for.

So I turn my head to kiss the side of his.

His blush is definitely a reaction I'm happy with.

"No, you're not," I say, kissing him again.

"I am!" He says beginning to wriggle away from me, but I squeeze his hand tight enough for him to obviously get the message and he stays still again.

"Really?" Another kiss.

This time, I think he feels the smile on my lips against his temple because he lets out a breathy chuckle.

"Really," he whispers back, and I kiss that spot again. "Teddy-" He turns his face to look at me, and I can see in his eyes all the doubt and worry and it's not fair that he has to feel like this.

Why does my Billy have to feel like this? Why can't he be happy?

"Teddy, I-"

"I know. I love you." And I kiss him on the lips this time.

And he kisses back.

It feels... just...

Finally.


End file.
